8/23/26

Feeling contemplatively melancholy in this early hour. 03:49. Some anxiety crawling in from the nether regions of disquietude, iniquity and inadequacy that exists only in my imagination. Either that or it’s owing to the caffeine I’ve consumed. Both are strong contenders as to the genesis of my anxiety.

04:18–when one blogs in their fleeting moments of downtime at work, one tends to get pulled away to tend to things.

So, I’ve been thinking. I’m not so sure what the whole ‘main character energy’ thing is supposed to be about. I figure it’s about being the main character in your own story. Before I left social media, this was something I was seeing pop up on reels; encouraging, and advocating, for people to take charge and such. I have my own ideas, however.

Sure, we are main characters in our own story. We should also have the soundness of mind to realize when we’re not one of the main characters in someone else’s story. I have come to realize, without bitterness or frustration, that people have come and gone in my life. There are only so many slots on the marquee to show the main characters in a film. Such is the same with life. When our purpose is fulfilled in someone’s life, we gracefully exit the stage to make room for other cast members. It doesn’t always work that way, though, does it? Sometimes, a cast change is made forcefully, is unilateral and unexpected. On occasion, characters are cut and then rewritten into a show. But more often than not, such partings are acrimonious, and inflict wounds of resentment is allowed to fester.

Essentially, I’ve been thinking. The supporting ‘cast’ in my life has always been relatively small. It’s grown even smaller as of late. Such is life. It’s the nature of the production. We are the directors of our own life story. If we feel too bitter and forlorn over our circumstances, we are granting others too much power, too much leeway in the writing department, as it were.

I am directing my life. I’m glad for the supporting cast that has been, is, and will yet be. May it be so.